Internal Memo for Friday, 7/4/14

Happy Friday!  What’s a “holiday”?
 
Whitney Wolfe, co-founder of the popular dating app “Tinder,” has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the company.  “In three years of working there,” Wolfe told reporters, “not one employee swiped me forward.”

Al Qaeda splinter group ISIL has declared an Islamic Caliphate in the Middle East, eliciting several groans from Ms. Peabody’s eighth grade government class.

Welcome back, Anna from HR!  We all knew you were innocent.

Louis Zamperini, World War II hero and subject of the book “Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption,” died Wednesday at the age of 97.  Or at least that’s what the Nazis think.

A Delta Airlines supervisor stands accused of defrauding the company of $22 million.  If found guilty, he will be forced to fly Delta the rest of his life.

Jerry, Betsy Ross died in 1836.

Sunday’s Pride March in Toronto ended with a natural rainbow appearing in the sky, proving once again that Canadian gays are the luckiest people on Earth.

Facebook is in hot water over its involvement in an experiment designed to manipulate people’s emotional states.  The experiment, called “Facebook,” is believed to still be occurring.
 
Celebrate America today with James from marketing!  Please… his wife left him.

Gary Oldman has apologized for making anti-Semitic remarks in a recent Playboy interview.  “I am deeply sorry,” Oldman said in a statement, “for those of you who read Playboy for the interviews.”

Hurricane Arthur briefly made landfall in North Carolina today, but was quickly blown northwards by millions of residents taking their shirts off and twisting them ‘round their heads, spinning them like helicopters.

George Washington was a racist!

-The Chairman

PS- Thanks, Jon from digital, for this HILARIOUS video!

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