The memo: one small step for man, one giant leap… for business.
Fifty years ago this Saturday, man first set foot on the moon. The richest 1% of Americans’ share of the national income has more than doubled in the years since, leading many never to learn what the moon is.
German defense minister Ursula von der Leyden has been confirmed as the first female president of the European Commission. Donald Trump responded to the news by masturbating.
Congratulations, Anna from Accounting, on paying off your student loans! And Happy Birthday! The big 7-0.
New research shows that a paste made of bananas, chickpeas, soy, peanuts, and several oils and micronutrients can help to reestablish a healthy microbiome in malnourished children. In children with severe peanut allergies, the effects are short-lived.
A federal judge has ruled that rapper Ja Rule did not commit fraud relating to his participation in 2017’s infamous Fyre Festival. Mr. Rule responded to the verdict by removing his shirt in the courtroom and asking the judge “WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT MY BABAY?”
Jerry, I was born here.
Retired Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens has died at the age of 99. While serving on the court, Stevens was known for his flamboyant bowties and for never guessing how far it would fall.
Actress Lashana Lynch will reportedly portray the first ever black, female 007 in the next James Bond film. Bond’s famous nemesis Jaws will reportedly appear in the film as well, played by institutional racism.
It’s World Emoji Day! Reminder: eggplants are sexual harassment.
Wolf of Wall Street producer Joey McFarland has agreed to return $14 million worth of cash and gifts tied to a money laundering scandal involving the Malaysian government’s strategic development fund. He is expected to recoup the money in a sequel to the film starring Leonardo DiCaprio as himself and Scarlett Johansson as the Malaysian Prime Minister.
A Brazilian woman this week threw a priest to the ground during his sermon after he said, “fat women don’t go to heaven.” The woman said she was just trying to get some exercise.
Houston, we have a problem.
And it is the ubiquitous threat of unionization.