Dear Online,
I would have sent memos these past two weeks, but I was afraid of getting canceled.
Business!
Students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama have reportedly taken to throwing “COVID parties” in a race to see who can become infected with the virus first. Local teen Sam Duggan called the parties “sick.”
Princeton University is removing former university and United States President Woodrow Wilson’s name from its school of public policy. Princeton, which as of 2019 had a $26.1 billion endowment, said it was “proud to have now done all that we can to combat systemic racism and inequality in America.”
Anna from Sales, congratulations on publishing your latest book, Mulungu, Muluku, and Mungu: The Presence and Power of a Common God in Disparate Bantu Mythologies. You look SUPER hot on the back cover.
An Italian boy who started a website for chronicling miracles before dying at the age of 15 is on track to become the Catholic Church’s “patron saint of the Internet.” The child’s family reportedly objected to the church’s initial title suggestion, “patron saint of young boys.”
Mississippi lawmakers have voted to remove the Confederate “Stars and Bars” from the state flag. The state has yet to decide on a replacement image, but Governor Tate Reeves has said he is considering “anything white.”
Jerry, you were not a student of Mary Kay Letourneau.
Northwestern University researchers have discovered a COVID-19 strain that they believe to be unique to the city of Chicago. Donald Trump has since vowed to send National Guard troops to the city.
The president of the Central Asian nation of Uzbekistan recently signed a “Safe Travel GUARANTEED” decree that promises the equivalent of 3,000 USD to any tourist who gets coronavirus while visiting the country. Travel to Uzbekistan is currently restricted to citizens of New Zealand, Vatican City, and North Korea.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic, Broadway theaters will remain closed through the end of 2020. As a result, Disney Theatrical Group has announced that it will make each of its recent Broadway musicals available to stream on its new service Disney++ for the price of a typical orchestra ticket ($250).
In advance of November’s enormously consequential presidential election, I am pleased to announce our very first company candidate town hall! We will be welcoming Independent candidate Kanye West, who will speak to us about the dangers of vaccines, his on-again, off-again friendship with Donald Trump, and what it was like to collaborate with God. This event will be held in person on Friday, 7/8 in Conference Room DD, as Mr. West says he already contracted the coronavirus and is immune.
Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson has apologized for posting an antisemitic quote from Adolf Hitler on his Instagram story. “I now understand that Hitler represents different things to different people,” Jackson said in a follow-up post. “To me, he’ll always be the adorable goofball from Jojo Rabbit.”
The Indian government has banned TikTok and other Chinese-made smartphone apps after recent clashes between the two countries’ militaries near their disputed border in the Himalayas. TikTok’s creators have since urged Indian teenagers to partake in the “Ghandi Challenge,” for which they starve themselves until the app is reinstated.
From now on I promise to fight, alongside my brothers and sisters who were born into their respective genders, to eliminate any possible instances of hatred, intolerance, and/or bigotry towards me and/or them anywhere on the Internet and/or anywhere else, although where else is there? Nowhere that matters.
-The Chairman
And
| Elliot Ackerman Saladin Ambar, Rutgers University Martin Amis Anne Applebaum Marie Arana, author Margaret Atwood John Banville Mia Bay, historian Louis Begley, writer Roger Berkowitz, Bard College Paul Berman, writer Sheri Berman, Barnard College Reginald Dwayne Betts, poet Neil Blair, agent David W. Blight, Yale University Jennifer Finney Boylan, author David Bromwich David Brooks, columnist Ian Buruma, Bard College Lea Carpenter Noam Chomsky, MIT (emeritus) Nicholas A. Christakis, Yale University Roger Cohen, writer Ambassador Frances D. Cook, ret. Drucilla Cornell, Founder, uBuntu Project Kamel Daoud Meghan Daum, writer Gerald Early, Washington University-St. Louis Jeffrey Eugenides, writer Dexter Filkins Federico Finchelstein, The New School Caitlin Flanagan Richard T. Ford, Stanford Law School Kmele Foster David Frum, journalist Francis Fukuyama, Stanford University Atul Gawande, Harvard University Todd Gitlin, Columbia University Kim Ghattas Malcolm Gladwell Michelle Goldberg, columnist Rebecca Goldstein, writer Anthony Grafton, Princeton University David Greenberg, Rutgers University Linda Greenhouse Rinne B. Groff, playwright Sarah Haider, activist Jonathan Haidt, NYU-Stern Roya Hakakian, writer Shadi Hamid, Brookings Institution Jeet Heer, The Nation Katie Herzog, podcast host Susannah Heschel, Dartmouth College Adam Hochschild, author Arlie Russell Hochschild, author Eva Hoffman, writer Coleman Hughes, writer/Manhattan Institute Hussein Ibish, Arab Gulf States Institute Michael Ignatieff Zaid Jilani, journalist Bill T. Jones, New York Live Arts Wendy Kaminer, writer Matthew Karp, Princeton University Garry Kasparov, Renew Democracy Initiative Daniel Kehlmann, writer Randall Kennedy Khaled Khalifa, writer Parag Khanna, author Laura Kipnis, Northwestern University Frances Kissling, Center for Health, Ethics, Social Policy Enrique Krauze, historian Anthony Kronman, Yale University Joy Ladin, Yeshiva University Nicholas Lemann, Columbia University Mark Lilla, Columbia University Susie Linfield, New York University Damon Linker, writer Dahlia Lithwick, Slate Steven Lukes, New York University John R. MacArthur, publisher, writer | Susan Madrak, writer Phoebe Maltz Bovy, writer Greil Marcus Wynton Marsalis, Jazz at Lincoln Center Kati Marton, author Debra Mashek, scholar Deirdre McCloskey, University of Illinois at Chicago John McWhorter, Columbia University Uday Mehta, City University of New York Andrew Moravcsik, Princeton University Yascha Mounk, Persuasion Samuel Moyn, Yale University Meera Nanda, writer and teacher Cary Nelson, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Olivia Nuzzi, New York Magazine Mark Oppenheimer, Yale University Dael Orlandersmith, writer/performer George Packer Nell Irvin Painter, Princeton University (emerita) Greg Pardlo, Rutgers University – Camden Orlando Patterson, Harvard University Steven Pinker, Harvard University Letty Cottin Pogrebin Katha Pollitt, writer Claire Bond Potter, The New School Taufiq Rahim, New America Foundation Zia Haider Rahman, writer Jennifer Ratner-Rosenhagen, University of Wisconsin Jonathan Rauch, Brookings Institution/The Atlantic Neil Roberts, political theorist Melvin Rogers, Brown University Kat Rosenfield, writer Loretta J. Ross, Smith College J.K. Rowling Salman Rushdie, New York University Karim Sadjadpour, Carnegie Endowment Daryl Michael Scott, Howard University Diana Senechal, teacher and writer Jennifer Senior, columnist Judith Shulevitz, writer Jesse Singal, journalist Anne-Marie Slaughter Andrew Solomon, writer Deborah Solomon, critic and biographer Allison Stanger, Middlebury College Paul Starr, American Prospect/Princeton University Wendell Steavenson, writer Gloria Steinem, writer and activist Nadine Strossen, New York Law School Ronald S. Sullivan Jr., Harvard Law School Kian Tajbakhsh, Columbia University Zephyr Teachout, Fordham University Cynthia Tucker, University of South Alabama Adaner Usmani, Harvard University Chloe Valdary Lucía Martínez Valdivia, Reed College Helen Vendler, Harvard University Judy B. Walzer Michael Walzer Eric K. Washington, historian Caroline Weber, historian Randi Weingarten, American Federation of Teachers Bari Weiss Sean Wilentz, Princeton University Garry Wills Thomas Chatterton Williams, writer Robert F. Worth, journalist and author Molly Worthen, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Matthew Yglesias Emily Yoffe, journalist Cathy Young, journalist Fareed Zakaria |
